As most of you know, I spend a lot of my time lying down. It’s easier for me to function in that position because my back and neck get tired quickly in my chair, and when I’m lying on my side I feel like I’m not having to fight gravity as much. It can be hard for me to lift my arms to do things sitting up, but lying on my side I can use my body to support them while I eat, paint, and type. (And no, I don’t choke while eating on my side. Read more about that here.)
You would think that having brittle bones would make me want to lay on something soft, like a pillow or a cushion. Wrong. I actually prefer quite the opposite. Because I don’t have a lot of muscle strength, it’s hard for me to roll over and move on a soft surface because I just don’t have the umph to push against the resistance of the cushion and get out of the hole that my body makes in it. You know how you sink way down into a super cushy pillow top mattress? Yeah, when I lay on something like that, I can never get out of the hole my body makes by myself! Soft surfaces also don’t give me enough support in general and tend to give me a major backache. My bed isn’t concrete, but it is a fairly firm mattress with no pillow top or extra padding. That’s the best option for me.
Needless to say, I spend the better part of my life lying on my kitchen table, counter, or some other tabletop surface. I have my computer and paints set up in my kitchen, and my two small dogs are allowed to sit on the table with me while I work. I have a beanbag hot pack that I use as a pillow under my head or back (depending on my position) but otherwise I prefer to be flat on the table with no other padding.
When my mother used to bring me shopping when I was young, there were times that we couldn’t bring my wheelchair (sometimes it was broken, sometimes it was raining, sometimes the store wasn’t accessible, etc.). Since I was a lot lighter then, she’d often carry me in and just lay me on a bench or on the ground while she did whatever she needed to do in the store. When it came time to check out, she’d lay me up on the narrow counter where the register was while she paid. Talk about FREAK OUT the cashiers! It was hilarious. They didn’t know what to do with that, and a couple times Mom was actually told to get me off or leave the store. It’s kind of sad that they thought she would put her child in a position where she thought I might get severely injured. What kind of mother would do that? I guess there are many out there, but mine is certainly not one of them.
Here are the two most common reactions I get when people see me lying on a table for the first time:
1. STOP! THE EDGE!
Them: Don’t get too close to the edge! You might fall off! Get towards the middle!
Me: No, I won’t. Do you see how I have my foot touching the edge? That’s so that I know where it is so that I DON’T fall off. I’m 29 years old and have NEVER fallen off of a table or countertop. I feel like my track record is pretty good.
2. YOU NEED A PILLOW!
Them (repeated multiple times): Are you sure you don’t need something? Let me get you a pillow or a blanket. You need something to lay on. That is not good for you to lay on that hard surface.
Me: For. Real. First of all, I know what’s good for me and what’s not. Second, I’ve already told you 3,000 times that I’m good. As you can see, I can fully articulate what I want, and trust me, I WILL tell you if I need something.
Now, I realize that both of these reactions are goodhearted and people mean well, but when you get them over and OVER again, it does become frustrating. It cracks me up when I have someone telling me how smart and talented I am one minute and then convinced that I’m going to fall off a table the next. I don’t want to hurt me any more than you don’t want me to be hurt, so believe me when I say I’m smart enough to pay attention to where the table ends.
I know I do things differently than others, and sometimes that’s hard for people to understand. This is just another instance where I think that people need to be a bit more broad-minded and realize that there is more than one way to live and to function, and mine just happens to be flat out on a hard tabletop. That’s what works for me. Time to open your minds everybody!